It’s a lonely feeling this is. Being so far and distant. 

I need you.

I need Tim to come back home :'(
I need his reassurance and his cuddles and kisses..
I can't live without him, and right now its really hard :(

I can't cope with all this shit.

I can't exercise today because of my really sore throat :(

But I just did 50 crunches. So thats something at least..

Food tracking today.

• Fruit loops for breakfast
• Honey and lemon hot drink
• Yakult
  
  That is all so far. Maybe I'll skip lunch & have crumpets with jam before work tonight for dinner. 

I seriously feel like shit. No matter what I do I'm always in the wrong.
I honestly wonder if its because you dislike me as a person. And it feels like you'd use any excuse to be angry at me, just to give yourself a reason to hate me.

I feel like I'm always  the one trying to work things out, and make everything better again, but you never want a bar of it.

I'm always the one fighting for us. I don't think you'd ever fight for me. You'd see it as a way out.

Food tracking!

• 2 cups of tea
• 1 pikelet 
• some heated up chips from red rooster 
• a chocolate icy pole
  
  
  That is shit food. But I haven't really eaten any meals, so its alright, whatever.
  I didn't eat anything today up until about 4pm when I got home ^_^
  This morning I even looked thinner, and it made me slightly happy. But not fully happy because I'm still fat and I'm not in the best of moods. 

Feeling detached as fuck.

okay then

Keeping track of food.

Haven't been doing this unfortunately :/
But here is today so far;

• Toast with butter for breakfast
• Coconut ice/slice thing (homemade little square snacks, absolutely delicious, but I eat too many haha)
• Leftover roast from Sunday: bit of pork, a few pieces of pumpkin and some potato
• A few cups of tea

Missing Tim.

Still won't see him for a few more weeks, ugh.

So annoying. I can never talk to him when I want to >_< 

I just want to see and talk to my boyfriend like I usually fucking would. 

Never ending sexual frustration. Holy shit.

Tim and I just had a direct conversation together over facebook. It felt nice finally speaking to him for a while, instead of waiting hours on end to hear back from him and stuff.
The time difference is annoying, but oh well. I'm just glad I got to talk to him.
We might skype tomorrow. If I get home in time and such. Pretty stressful day tomorrow though..

I've got my shoot I have to redo in the morning, and then I have to model for my friend because her original model she had planned pulled out.. so hopefully thats not too time consuming, because I need to get back home to skype with Tim and get to work on time.

I'll be dressing up as a zombie red riding hood for my friend, should be a bit of fun!

Recent purchases.

This beautiful wildfox sweater came in the mail today.
It is so pretty and feels amazingly soft. I cannot wait to wear it in the summer and flaunt that shit haha.

And these gorgeous wildfox shoes. I couldn't resist them. I bought them today online,
and they should be here by next week or so!
If I ever get married, I will be wearing these shoes, they're perfect!

It's weird not being able to contact Tim. Facebook and skype will be our only way of contact. I'm just so used to calling him up or texting him whenever I feel like it. And now there is just no contact, just waiting.

Ahhh the perks of life.

Tim has boarded his plane.

I'm excited for him, that he is going away to London to see his family and enjoy city. But it also deeply saddens me that I cannot be there with him. :'(
and that he is so far away from me than usual. Even as it is, he lives on the other side of Melbourne to me. Thats as far as I like him to be. But after today, he will be oceans apart from me.
I'm just going to miss him so much. Talking to him every night on the phone, or being with him, cuddling, embracing, laughing together and joking around the way we do. He completes me. And even though he angers me very easily, it is only because I care way more than I should about him. And I'm my complete self around him. And I've never been myself that much around anybody except him. I love him so much.

Foot tattoo photo.

Just found this photo on Kitty Dearest's facebook of my tattoo.
She did such a good job and I love it. 

Tim's leaving for London tomorrow.

Saying goodbye to him today made me so sad :'(
I won't be seeing him for a whole month. And its really disheartening for me.

I'm going to miss him so much.

It was our 3 years on the 11th October. 

We went out to an underground japanese restaurant, and it was absolutely amazing. 

We ordered two entrees to share, and two mains to share and then got a delicious japanese trifle for dessert.

We also got two cocktails that were quite different and I really liked my one. 

I don't know what I'd do without this boy. He's perfect & I'm just fklfwhkwfl.
I'll love you forever and always, with all of my heart <3

Juvederm dermal fillers!

So I got 1ml injected into my lips, mostly in the top one!
And a tiny bit in bottom :)

Hurt a little when the needle would go in, but it was quite a bearable process.
The skin around my top lip and lips were pretty swollen the first day, but it all went down after the second and third :)
Theres a tiny bruise as well, and its a bit lumpy, which should subside in a week!

I go back for a 'review' on Thursday :)

Really happy with the subtle natural result!
Will be getting it again when my braces are off, just wanted to try it out xD

I don't know what I'm going to do. Between the stress of tafe, work and not seeing you, I'm going to be in a really bad place.

Had a cute bath with my boy last week.

He lit candles as well.
It was nice. 

Package arrived today.

I love dollskill.com because they always deliver so fast.

Bought these last Thursday and they got to me this morning.
I love their great service. And not to mention the awesome clothes they supply.
My favourite brand WILDFOXCOUTURE!
And UNIF as well.

The dress is so adorable, Summer days will be spent wearing it ^_^

Ah well. You being away means I can get into exercise on my days off.
I'll really stick to it. And then maybe by the time you come back I won't be fat anymore.

Yayyyyy. Less than 2 weeks til the worst month of this year. Thats supposed to be a special time, considering its our 3 year anniversary. But nope. Not looking forward to it.

Getting my hair done tomorrow ^_^

Fresh bleached roots and plumped swollen lips will be me this week.

I just hope the swelling goes away really fast ><